题目内容：
A．"You'resogreat--whydon'tyouhaveaboyfriend?"Thismisguidedpraise,oftenmadetoyoungsuccessfulwomen,hasgivenbirthtoanewthoughtexperiment:Ifawomanisgreatandnoromanticpartneristheretoappreciateher,canshestillleadahappyandfulfillinglife?
B．Since2000,themostcommonAmericanhouseholdhasbeenapersonlivingalone.Statisticsshowedthat53.6percentofAmericanwomenovertheageof18wereunmarriedin2012.Sowhydosinglesoftenfeelliketheoddwomanout?
C．Overthelast15years,we'vewatchedpopcultureheroinesputtheirprofessionalaccomplishmentsonthebackburnerwhenthingsgosouthintheromancedepartment.It'snothardtoseewherethesetelevisionwritersaregettingtheirmaterial:Womenoftenfeelbadaboutbeingsingle,despitehowsatisfyingtheirlivesareotherwise.
D．TheHarvardGrantStudy,oneofthemostcomprehensivelongitudinal(纵向的)studiesonhappiness,followed268maleHarvardundergraduatesfor75yearstoseejustwhatbroughtthemjoy.Afternearlyalifetimeoftracking,researchersdiscoveredthatfulfillmentwasoverwhelminglyfoundinonething:relationships--butnotnecessarilyromanticrelationships.
E."Joyisconnection,"GeorgeVaillant,whodirectedthestudyfrom1972to2004,toldTheHuffingtonPostin2013."Themoreareasinyourlifeyoucanmakeconnection,thebetter."
F.Greatnews,right?Unfortunately,thisconceptisn'texactlycommonknowledge,andsinglewomenoftenfeelthattheirmanyloving,althoughnon-sexual,relationshipsarediscounted.AnnFriedman,afreelancejournalistwhopensacolumnforNYMag.comaboutgenderandhassharedheradventuresinbeing"deepsingle".Shespokeofherattitudeaboutpartnerships--onethatavoidthe"marriageo'clock"conceptinsteadofamorelaissez-faire(自由放任的)approachtolifeandrelationships--hasgainedsuchresponsesas:"You'vegivenupontheideaoflove"orevenworse,"You'vegrownsodepressedwiththestateoftheAmericanmalethatyou'veoptedoutcompletely."
G."Iwaslike,'Honestly,I'mreally,reallycoolwithwhatIhavegoingonrightnow,'"Friedmansaid.Heroutlookisobviouslynotone-size-fits-all,butit'sneverabadideatostopandappreciatethewonderfulrelationshipswedohaveinourlives,whetherornottheyfitneatlyintoaromanticbox.JustaskDr.BellaDePaulo,authorofSingledOutandapermanentVisitingProfessor&PsychologyattheUniversityofCalifornia,SantaBarbara.
H"Whatpeoplesometimesoverlookwhentheysay'Ifyou'resingle,you'realone'isthepossibilitythatifyou'resingle,youmayhavefriendshipsthatyoupayalotofattentionto,"DePaulotoldHuffPostWomen."Infact,youmighthavemoresupportthansomeonewhogetsmarriedandonlypaysattentiontotheirspouseandputsalloftheirfriendsonthebackburner."Oryoumaynotbeprioritizingwhatyoureallywant.
I．Allowingwhatotherpeoplewantforyoutocloudyourjudgmentcanalsosendyoudownthatdark,"I'mdyingalone"spiral(漩涡).Globalsurveyshavefoundthatculturalnormsandexpectationsarewhatdetermineourself-esteem,evenifweclaimwe'reabovethepressure.Whenitcomestosinglewomen,thisdual(双重的)mentalitycangettricky.The(obvious)truthisthatmarriage--orevenlong-termcouplehood--won'tmakeeveryonehappier.
J．"Ithinkthatweareinasocietythatjustsocelebratesmarriage,"DePaulosaid.This"matrimania",DePaulo'stermfortheover-the-topclaimsofmarriageandweddings,canbeespeciallyproblematicwhenyoufactorinallofthecomplexitiesofromanticrelationshipsthatcancomebeforemarriage,"Thecohabitation(同居)gap",atermcoinedbyresearchersin2011,describesthephenomenonofmarriedcouplesbeinghappierthannon-marriedcoupleswholivetogether.Why?Here'showtheresearchersputit:
K．"Wecanspeculatethatinsuchsocieties,peopletendtobelievethatawomanlivestogetherwithherpartnerwithoutbeingmarriednotbecauseshedoesn'twanttomarryhimbutbecausehedoesn'twanttomarryher.Thesociety'sdoubtsinthecommitmentofherpartnermakeacohabitingwomanpitiedandlookeddownupon,whichcouldbedamagingforherself-esteemandpsychologicalwell-beingregardlessofherownperceptionofherpartner'scommitment."
L．Friedmanhasexperiencedthiscondescending(显得高人一等的)attitudetowardssingleorunmarriedwomen."Reallygreatthingshappenedtomeinmylifeduringthisperiodwhenmostpeoplewerekindofpityingme,"shesaidofabeingsingle--aperiodduringwhichhercareertookoff,shetookherdreamvacationandhersociallifebecamemoredynamicthanever."Butpeoplealwaysaskme'Don'tyouwanttomeetsomeone?'"
M．ThisspecificbreedofcondescensionledfreelancewriterSaraEckeltopenaModemLovecolumnfortheNewYorkTimesin2011(andeventuallyafantasticbooK．onthetopic,toexplaintowomenwhatshesaysweessentiallyalreadyknow:thatthere'snothingto"fix"--singlewomenarefineastheyare.
N．Yes,you'restill"great"andmorethancapableoflivingahappy,fulfillinglife,whetherornotyou'reinvolvedwithsomeoneromantically.
O.WithbarelyhalfofUSadultsmarriedasof2011anddelayedmarriageontherise,theconversationaboutsinglesisshifting.Consideringtheever-growingpopulationofwomenlivingabundantlyhappyliveswithoutapartner,howcoulditnot?Ofcourse,downplaying(对……轻描淡写)thespecialrolethatmarriageplaysinmanypeople'slivesisn'ttheanswer,either.Rather,it'simportanttorecognizethatsomepeoplefindhappinesswithapartnerlaterinlifeorinamoreunconventionalformofeoupledom.
P.AccordingtoPew's2010statistics,84percentofunmarriedpeoplecite"love"--ratherthan"makingalifelongcommitment,""companionship,""havingchildren"or"financialstability"--asthereasontogetmarried.
Perhapswomenarestartingtofeeltheyshouldgetmarriedontheirterms,ratherthanrelyingonperceivedculturalnorms.TakealookatHannahHorvathon"Girls"orLizLemonon"30Rock,"andyou'llseethatpopcultureisalreadyhelpingtoredefinewhatitmeanstobesingleincontemporarysociety.
Q.Allofthisawareness,however,won'talwaysrelieveallofyourfearsandinsecurities,andthat'sOK.AsEckelpointsoutinherbook,"Ifyoufeelsadsometimes,it'snotbecauseyou'resingle--it'sbecauseyou'realive."Afterall,painispartoflife.
R.Obviously,noteverysinglewomanfeelsbadaboutherrelationshipstatus,sothisstatementmerelyappliestothosewhodo.
SaraEckeloncewroteinhercolumnthatthereisnothingwrongwithwomen'sbeingsingle.
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